Two nights in Canberra and the world’s your oyster!

I decide to travel from Sydney to Melbourne by train instead of plane so I can see more of the country. I didn't want to go the overnight route, so instead I decided to spend a night or two in Canberra, the capital city of Australia, then head onward to Melbourne.

The four hour train down to Canberra is uneventful. I sit next to a nice, somewhat gruff older gentleman. We don’t exchange names but I learn a lot about him even though I don't ask. He lives in Brisbane, he’s was in the Navy, he’s a retired air traffic controller, and he loves antique cars having traveled to a few car shows in the US. I have not given one iota of personal information about myself nor has he asked, only that I am traveling through Australia after time in New Zealand. He tells me about the kangaroo he hit one day that ruined the grill and radiator of his car. 

“Kangaroos are all hips and bottom,” he said. “They run murder on cars if you hit one.” 

“Really”, I say back as I have no real way of answering back. I marvel at the use of the phrase 'run murder.' 

“They do taste rather good though,” my train companion offers, even though we have not gotten to food preferences.

“Like chicken?” I question, since supposedly every land animal that is not a cow or a chicken taste like chicken.

“No, no, no, mate.” he tells me gruffly. “It tastes like kangaroo.”

“Ah…”

“And it’s low in fat and cholesterol.” He adds before he goes back to reading his book.

I am tempted to say it must be from all of the cardio they do hopping from place to place but think better of it. We do have three more hours of train time together.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, my train buddy and I never bond. We have a few exchanges but I think we are both giving off the vibe that we are not into long conversations at this point in the day. This is good because it allows me to look out at the scenery that is Australia.

Australia is a gorgeous country. Once out of gleaming, golden Sydney and headed down the coast, it is green and barren at the same time. The country is filled with about 300 kinds of eucalyptus trees, all ready to combust if it gets to hot. 

Fun fact - eucalyptus trees shed their bark instead of their leaves. During a brush fire, the bark of the tree prevents it from getting too damaged, However, that keeps the heat locked inside of the tree, so even after the rest of the brush fire has died out, the eucalyptus trees may later burst into flames, causing more damage, Fun fact. 


Different parts of the country have been through massive and devastating firestorms. Each has a name, like our hurricanes and the danger is ever present. Australia also seems to be in a constant state of water emergency. The country has water traveling through much of it only through sheer force of will. The Aboriginal people lived with little water and ever present fire danger for 30,000 years and thrived on the land until the British showed up. More on that in a later blog. The parallels between the treatment of Aboriginal people in Australia, Native Americans and Black people in America are quite remarkable. Horrendously remarkable not cool remarkable. Let’s just say that unlike New Zealand, Australia is not dealing with its shit all that well.

So Canberra. In a Facebook post I called it Dullberra. I admit to being hasty. 

I arrived around 5pm and got a quick tour from my friend Zacha (Alan Rosen’s son) who happened to be in Canberra with his girlfriend Kate. The Parliamentary buildings, the museums and official cultural buildings are separate from the city centre or the ‘Civic’ as they call it ihere. My hotel was in the Civic and everything I wanted to explore was about two miles away. Zacha said it was best to go during the day because I might regret that two mile walk in the cold of winter. He and Kate dropped me off in the Civic and I wandered around looking for a restaurant for my first meal. 

Before eating, I decided to look for the gay bar listed in my guide app. Good to know where it was after my meal so I could go have an after dinner drink and size up the gays of Canberra. The bar, The Cube, was actually easy to find. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a bar, it was a club that opened at 10pm but was closed for renovations until later in the evening and as I later learned wasn’t really strictly gay anymore because, you know, the times they are a changing. Fucking ‘the times!’

I found an Asian fusion place to eat called Akiba. The hostess was bubbly and seated me at the bar. Everything else from there went downhill. The bartender was trying to be cool and informative but came across as manipulative. Letting me know they had the largest selection of Japanese whisky in the country is good, trying to sell me a $50 glass of whisky is shitty. I decided to go for sake instead and went with one of his lesser recommendations that didn’t cost $80 for two glasses. I ordered the Asian style fried chicken (which came covered in cheese!) and dumplings. The food was okay but the service was severely lacking. Now I know, I am not in America. I don’t expect any server in any other country to come up to me to ask how my first bite is tasting. The servers in Australia make about $25 an hour so haven’t worked for tips in the past. As restaurants try to become more Americanized, the servers have started to expect tips. However the correlation between good service and a good tip hasn’t sunk in here so they just expect a tip, especially from us Americans. Needless to say, I didn’t tip.

I went back to my hotel bar and grabbed a glass of wine. I asked the bartender what people did for fun in Canberra and he gave me a perplexed look as if I had asked where one might find a dragon. The question of why I chose to stop in Canberra came up a lot while I was here. People don’t normally go to Canberra unless they are visiting relatives or passing a writ. It may be the seat of government for the entire country but Washington DC it is not. I went to bed.

The next day I took a lovely walk to the Australian National Museum. In the middle of Canberra is a large people made lake and there is a lovely fountain in the middle. From my hotel, you have to walk around the lake to get to the museum which is on a peninsula that juts into the lake. The museum is free and someone greets each and every person that comes in with a map and directions to the first of the exhibits. It’s a large museum in a new building built on the site of an old hospital. Whenever anyone tells me this they say ‘its tragic’ in the same breath but don’t elaborate. There is a story there and I have a feeling I don’t really want to hear it... But I do. No one tells me.

I take a short walk to the National Gallery and am treated to some great art from Australia and around the world. There is a stellar exhibit going on called Defying Empire by Aboriginal and white artists from Australia commenting and critiquing the Australian treatment of the native peoples over the decades. It' a must see and I learned how many Aboriginal activists came to the US to meet with the Black Panthers and other civil rights leaders to learn and take tactics back to their country. I stood in front of several pieces for long periods of time looking at artists addressing race and the decolonization that is still going on in Australia.


Fun Fact: When Captain Cook arrived in Australia in 1770 he reported to the British Crown that the continent was "terra nullius," or uninhabited and ripe for the claiming. He ignored the Aboriginal people here and hence began the colonization, slaughter, and assimilation of the aboriginal people.

Fun Fact: Aboriginal People were not considered human by Australia until the 1970's.

*** I hope you are picking up the sarcasm of labelling these fun facts. I have to admit to not doing sarcasm well.


I tour other buildings in Canberra' parliamentary. Many of the buildings were built in the 1970's. Several look like props from science fiction movies from the 70's and the 80's. I am reminded of the Martian Chronicles from television. It is oddly comforting. After the two mile walk back to my hotel and giving my feet a rest (I am racking up the steps!), I go back to the Civic for a stroll through the mall. I love malls. I admit it. I go to the mall in every city I visit. Malls are where many of the locals get their shit done, eat meals, buy rugs and candles, go about their lives. I walk around the four floor behemoth of a mall going in and out of shops with names that I have never heard of and others that I am guessing are part of the same chain. Bed, Bath, and Table anyone?

After getting my mall-fix, I head to find dinner. I pull up a stool at the bar of a restaurant called Kokomo's. Kokomo's is a tropical, Asian fusion restaurant. There are loads of Asian fusion restaurants in Australia. They seem to fuse Asian cuisine with everything in the country but I am reserving my Japanese meals for Tokyo. There is no chance of this at Kokomo's. The bartender, a jolly young man who resembles Biff from Back to the Future, asks me if I want tequila. I order an Old Fashioned.

'We have great Tequila. Maybe a Margarita?'

'No, an Old Fashioned is fine,' I tell him.

'So...no tequila,' he tries one more time.

I shake my head and am saved by another bartender who says he hopes I am getting an Old Fashioned made with rye whiskey. I say sure and Biff looks perplexed. He and the other bartender walk off for a conversation and I realize Biff has no idea how to make an Old Fashioned. I worry and am about to order something else when Biff and his bartender buddy walk over with all of the correct ingredients and begin to make the drink.

This is when I realize Kokomo's is an homage to the movie Cocktail. I continue to worry as I watch other bartenders flip bottles and shake cocktail shakers to make drinks for other patrons. Every drink I see being set on the bar is either a beer or a margarita or a pina colada. I have obviously gone off script. Biff is afraid.

He is carefully measuring out the ingredients for my drink under the watchful eye of his bartender buddy. After what feels like 10 minutes, Biff puts the drink in front of me. I am about to pick it up when he pulls it back and carefully slices off an orange peel to add to the rim of the drink. He does this and careful hands the drink back to me and just stares. His bartender buddy is also staring. They are both staring.

I pick up the drink and am expecting something I will regret. To my surprise, the drink is good! Better than some Old Fashioneds I have had in the states. I nod to Biff and his buddy, acknowledging the drink is good. Biff gives me a broad smile then moves over to the couple that have just come up to the bar.

'Can I offer you some tequila?' he asks with a smile.

Next stop: Melbourne